I have severe food allergies to peanuts and treenuts.
So severe to the point that if I have an allergic reaction and don’t do anything about it, I could die.
Two weeks ago today I had my first allergic reaction, first time using my Epi-pen, and first visit to the ER.
I went 11 years without ever having any of these things happen. We were well prepared and knew what to do: Epi and rush to the ER.
I’m planning on going into further detail on the whole situation in another post, but for now I want to discuss the aftermath.
As I’m sitting here very early in the morning binging the 3rd season of Teen Wolf, I couldn’t help but notice something about how Stiles doesn’t know whether he’s awake or not and how the anxiety causes him to go into panic attacks. How he doesn’t know what’s real and what’s not.
It immediately reminded me of how I’ve been feeling, and gave me some reassurance that I wasn’t completely losing my mind.
Anxiety and panic attacks aren’t a foreign concept to me, as I developed anxiety when I was around 10 or 11, so about 2-3 years ago.
After my allergic reaction, I’ve began overanalyzing EVERYTHING about how I’m feeling: if my throat feels tight, my tongue feels tingly, if I lightheaded, even a stomach ache sets me off.
These things cause me to spiral into a panic attack, sometimes multiple times a day. And even though I logically know I’m not having an allergic reaction, that part of me that’s overanalyzing takes over, telling me that I am in fact having an allergic reaction.
It’s hard, because I genuinely don’t know what’s happening.
Seeing someone else go through something so similar, whether it be fictional or not, gave me some form of comfort, and it came to me at just the right time.
And with that, I’m going to finish my painting and watch more Teen Wolf.
Until next time <3
~Syd
